Thursday, 23 May 2013

Marriage In Islam

Marriage In Islam History

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In Islam, marriage is a contract (Standard Arabic: عقد القران; Egyptian Arabic: كتب الكتاب Katb el-Ketāb; Urdu: ‎ Nikahnama) between a man and woman to live as husband and wife. A formal, binding contract is considered integral to a religiously valid Islamic marriage, and outlines the rights and responsibilities of the groom and bride. The marriage must be declared publicly. Divorce is permitted and can be initiated by either party.
In addition to the usual marriage until death or divorce, there is a different fixed-term marriage known as Nikāḥ al-Mutʿah ("temporary marriage") permitted only by Twelvers (a branch of Shia Islam) for a pre-fixed period.
Contents  [show] 
History [edit]

Marriage was a Sunnah (custom) of earlier prophets which the Islamic Prophet Muhammad re-instituted and passed on to his ummah or community. An Arabic word for marriage is nikah (in Arabic: نكاح‎ nikāḥ), which is generally used to refer to Islamic marriages. Nikah as to the Arabic etymological origins of the phrase in Arabic: عقد القران‎, "Aqd Nikah", with Aqd in Arabic: عقد‎ translating to contract.
Background [edit]

Islamic marriages require acceptance, in Arabic: قبول‎, qabuul, of the bride and groom of each other. The tribal and cultural practices of some Muslims of marrying their spouse, sight unseen, is permitted as is marriage by proxy but not a practice encouraged in Islam.
If the conditions are met and a mahr and contract are agreed upon, an Islamic marriage ceremony Nikah, or wedding, can take place. Nowadays the marital contract is signed by both parties, whereas technically it only requires verbal agreement by both parties, the consent of the bride if she happens to be a virgin is given by silence, as per Hadith[1] the Islamic marriage is then declared publicly, in Arabic: إعلان‎, aa'laan, by a responsible person after delivering a sermon to counsel and guide the couple. It is not required, though customary, that the person marrying the couple should be religiously qualified. It is typically followed by a celebratory reception in line with the couple's or local customs, which could either last a couple of hours or proceed the wedding and conclude several days after the ceremony.
The Qur'an tells believers that even if they are poor they should marry to protect themselves from immorality[2][Quran 24:33]. The Quran asserts that marriage is the only legitimate way to satisfy one's sexual desire.[3] Islam recognizes the value of sex and companionship and advocates marriage as the foundation for families and channeling the fulfillment of a base need. Marriage is highly valued and regarded as being half of one's faith, according to a saying of Muhammad. Whether marriage is obligatory or merely allowed has been explored by several scholars, and agreed that "if a person has the means to marry and has no fear of mistreating their spouse or of committing the unlawful if he/she doesn't marry, then marriage in this case is preferred."[4]
Conditions [edit]

See also: Mahr
The Qur'an outlines some conditions for a marriage to take place [Quran 4:24]:
The marriage contract is concluded between the guardian (wali) of the bride and the bridegroom.
A nikah should be conducted through a contract and a mandatory sum of wealth provided to the bride, which here refers to the mahr. Once a mahr has been ascertained with the realization that it is an obligation of a Muslim husband, the groom is required to pay it to the bride at the time of marriage unless he and his bride can mutually agree to delay the time of some of its payment. In 2003, Rubya Mehdi published an article in which the culture of mahr among Muslims was thoroughly reviewed. There is no concept of dowry[5] as such in Islam, although mahr is often translated into English as dowry in the want of a more accurate word. A dowry as such is a payment to the groom from the bride's family, and is not an Islamic practice but borrowed from other religions into some Muslim cultures, notably in the Indian Subcontinent. Bride prices are also expressly prohibited.
Another requisite of marriage is chastity. No fornicator has the right to marry a chaste partner except if the two purify themselves of this sin by sincere repentance.[6][7]
Marriage is permitted for a man with a chaste woman either Muslim or from the People of the Book (ArabicL Ahl al Kitab, Jews, Sabians and Christians) but not to polytheists. For women, marriage to non-Muslim men is prohibited.[8][9]
The consent of the woman is only required, if she is not a virgin and her wali is neither her father nor her paternal grandfather. But a virgin may not be married off without her permission and if she is too shy to express her opinion her silence will be considered as implicit agreement [Al Bukhari:6455]. The wali who can force a bride against her outspoken will into marriage is called wali mujbir. If the woman was forced into a marriage, without the above mentioned conditions, the decision can be revoked.[10][11] Binti Khudham says that when she became a widow, her father solemnized her marriage. She did not like the decision so she went to Muhammad, who gave her permission to revoke her marriage.[12] Hence, forced marriages are against Islamic teachings.[13]
Despite this Islamic requirement of express consent, some Muslims force or pressure, especially amongst the uneducated, their children marry a partner approved of, and usually chosen by, the parents. See also: forced marriages
Rights and obligations of spouses [edit]

According to Islam, both men and woman have rights over each other when they enter into a marriage contract[14] with the husband serving as protector and supporter of the family most of the time, from his means [Quran 4:34]. This guardianship has two aspects for both partners:
The husband is financially responsible for the welfare and maintenance of his wife and any children they produce, to include at a minimum, providing a home, food and clothing. In return, it is the duty of the wife to safeguard the husband's possessions and protect how wealth is spent. If the wife has wealth in her own capacity she is not obliged to spend it upon the husband or children, as she can own property and assets in her own right, so the husband has no right for her property and assets except by her will. A pre-marital agreement of the financial expectation from the husband is in the mahr, given by him to the wife for her exclusive use, which is included as part of his financial responsibility.
The husband provides physical and emotional strength, loyalty, sexual fidelity, and honour. In return, the wife is to guard the secrets of her husband, be honourable, loyal, and conjugally faithful.
Several commentators have stated that the superiority of a husband over his wife is relative, and the obedience of the wife is also restrictive.[15] The Quran advises men that if they are certain of a rebellious attitude by the woman, they should first admonish her, then refuse to share beds, and finally hit her (without leaving a mark and not on the face, as established by the Hadith). This refers to serious breaches of behaviour such as being promiscuous according to renowned 20th Century scholar Muhammad Hamidullah which is not expected from a dutiful wife, and not for simple disobedience to the husband. In explaining this, Ibn Abbas gives an example of striking with a toothstick (a very tiny piece of wood, incapable of creating any pain).
Women are also reminded that in case the husband is not fulfilling his responsibilities, there is no stigma on them in seeking divorce [Quran 4:128]. The Quran re-emphasizes that justice for the woman includes emotional support, and reminds men that there can be no taking back of the mahr or bridal gifts given to women. In unfortunate cases where the agreement was to postpone payment of the mahr, some husbands will bully their wives and insist on the return of what he gave her in order to agree to the dissolution of the marriage, this is un-Islamic and cruel. "Where the husband has been abusive or neglectful of his responsibilities, he does not have the right to take his wife’s property in exchange for her freedom from him. Unfortunately most couples refuse to go to the judge and binding arbitration for these issues even though the Quran says: “And if you fear a breach between them, then appoint an arbiter from his folk and an orbiter from her folk. If they (the arbiters) desire reconciliation, Allah will affect it between them. Surely, Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware.” [4:36][16]
Contrary to Islam, some Muslims restrict women's rights despite their Quranic rights. Women are often coerced, mistreated and suffer penalties supported by the community when they do not comply with their families' expectations or local cultural norms. See also: forced marriages
Marriage contracts and forced/un-consented marriages [edit]


This article improperly uses one or more religious texts as primary sources without referring to secondary sources that critically analyze them. Please help improve this article by adding references to reliable secondary sources, with multiple points of view. (March 2013)
The marriage contract is concluded between the wali, or guardian, of the bride and bridegroom, not between bridegroom and bride. The wali of the bride can only be a free Muslim. The wali of the bride is normally a male relative of the bride, preferably her father. If the bride is a virgin, the wali cannot force the bride into the marriage against her will if she is old enough to decide for herself. Walis other than the father or the paternal grandfather of the bride need the consent of the bride as well. If the bride is a virgin, silent consent is sufficient. No one can compel an adult virgin in marriage. Abu Hurayrah reported that the Prophet said: "A non-virgin woman may not be married without her command, and a virgin may not be married without her permission; and it is permission enough for her is to remain silent (because of her natural shyness)." [Al-Bukhari:6455, Muslim & Others][full citation needed].
Thus, the Prophet prohibited forcing a virgin in marriage without her permission, whether by her father or anyone else. It is reported in a hadith that A'ishah related that she once asked the Prophet : "In the case of a young girl whose parents marry her off, should her permission be sought or not?" He replied: "Yes, she must give her permission." She then said: "But a virgin would be shy, O Messenger of Allaah!" He replied: "Her silence is [considered as] her permission." [Al-Bukhari, Muslim, & Others][full citation needed]
As for compelling her to marry against her will, this would contradict Islamic Law. Allah did not permit a Wali to force her to sell or render her property without her permission.
Source: 'Al-Masaa’il Al-Maardeeniyyah' by: Imaam Ibn Taymiyyah[full citation needed]
Forced marriages and international human rights responses [edit]

Children in some Muslim sub-cultures who defy their parents' wishes may in practice, suffer penalties supported by the community but this is only due to the lack of knowledge of the Sunnah, as the Prophet would never agree to force a women to marry somebody she doesn't want. The family should try to find somebody that suits her better, as the following Hadith illustrates.
It was narrated that Buraydah ibn al-Haseeb said: A girl came to the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and said: My father married me to his brother’s son so that he might raise his own status thereby. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) gave her the choice (i.e. to end the marriage) but she said: "I approve of what my father did, but I wanted women to know that their fathers have no right to do that". Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 1874. It was classed as saheeh by al-Buwaysiri in Masaabeeh az-Zujaajah, 2/102. Similarly Shaykh Muqbil al-Waadi‘i stated: (It is) saheeh according to the conditions of Muslim. End quote from as-Saheeh al-Musnad, p. 160 
International awareness, campaigns and organizations such as the U.K.'s Forced Marriage Unit have recognized the severity of this human rights issue and their rescue and support services extend beyond the borders of U.K. territories. Some countries have instituted prison time for parents who try to coerce their children into such unions.[17]
Mahr, dowry and gifts [edit]

Mahr (donatio propter nuptias in Roman Law, Latin = gift because of marriage) is often mistranslated into English as dowry or gift, as in the Quran translations below, due to a translator's lack of understanding of the true nature of a dowry, and the nonobligatory nature of a gift. The mahr is not a gift, and is a mandatory requirement for all Muslim marriages whereby an amount of money or possessions is paid by the groom to the bride at the time of marriage for her exclusive use.[18] The mahr does not have to be money, but it must have monetary value. Therefore "it cannot be love, honesty, being faithful, etc., which are anyway traits of righteous people."[19] If the marriage contract fails to contain an exact, specified mahr, the husband must still pay the wife a judicially determined sum.[20]
Mahr is mentioned several times in the Quran and Hadith, and there is no maximum limit to the amount the groom may pay as mahr,[21] but at a minimum it is an amount that would be sufficient for the woman to be able to survive independently if her husband dies or they divorce.
The term dowry (Latin, dos dotis) is inaccurate as strictly speaking it is the money, goods, or estate that a woman brings forth to the marriage, usually provided by her parents or family. In Islam, bride prices and dowries are forbidden. Any assets brought into the union by the wife may only be accepted by the husband after the mahr has been paid by him to her.
With prior mutual agreement, the mahr may also be paid in parts to the bride with an amount given by the groom to the bride at the signing of the marriage contract, also called a mu'qadamm (in Arabic: ‎; مقدم, literally translated as forepart presented), and the later portion postponed to a date during the marriage, also called a mu'akhaar ( in Arabic: ‎ مؤخر, literally translated as delayed). Various Romanized transliterations of mu'qadamm and mu'akhaar are accepted. Such an agreement does not make the full amount of the mahr any less legally required, nor is the husband's obligation to fulfill the agreement waived or lessened while he fulfills his obligations to reasonably house, feed, or cloth the wife (and any children produced from the union) during the marriage.[22]
Quran [4:4] You shall give the women their due dowries, equitably.[19]
Quran [5:5] Today, all good food is made lawful for you. The food of the people of the scripture is lawful for you. Also, you may marry the chaste women among the believers, as well as the chaste women among the followers of previous scripture, provided you pay them their due dowries. You shall maintain chastity, not committing adultery, nor taking secret lovers. Anyone who rejects faith, all his work will be in vain, and in the Hereafter he will be with the losers[19]
Quran [60:10] O you who believe, when believing women (abandon the enemy and) ask for asylum with you, you shall test them. GOD is fully aware of their belief. Once you establish that they are believers, you shall not return them to the disbelievers. They are not lawful to remain married to them, nor shall the disbelievers be allowed to marry them. Give back the dowries that the disbelievers have paid. You commit no error by marrying them, so long as you pay them their due dowries. Do not keep disbelieving wives (if they wish to join the enemy). You may ask them for the dowry you had paid, and they may ask for what they paid. This is GOD's rule; He rules among you. GOD is Omniscient, Most Wise.[19]
Divorce [edit]

Marriage in Islam is a contract with the standard elements of offer, acceptance and consideration, and not regarded as sacrosanct. It may be terminated by divorce on the grounds of abuse, infertility, lack of sexual fulfillment, lack of Nafaqah or financial support by the husband, adultery, dishonorable behavior, and irreconcilable differences. It is recommended in the Hadith that divorce should only be resorted to when there is no chance of reconciliation.
Talaq [edit]

Divorce may be instituted unilaterally by the husband, the most common means being talaq (literally "divorce"). Talaq can be revocable or irrevocable. In a revocable divorce, a waiting period of three menstrual cycles begins, during which the husband may take back his wife.[23] There are many Hadiths requiring that talaq is not uttered sequentially three times but separated by a month between each utterance to provide opportunity for reconciliation. Majority of Islamic schools of jurisprudence (fiqh), do not regard a divorce as valid if this requirement is not followed, however others such as Hanafi discourage such practice but accept as binding if a triple talaq is said sequentially at one time.
Khula [edit]

Divorce at the behest of the wife is known as khula (Arabic: خلع‎, literally extraction), or release from the marriage or commencement of separation from her husband. Women are reminded that in case the husband is not fulfilling his responsibilities, there is no stigma on them in seeking khula (Qur'an 4:128). See Rights and obligations of spouses. Divorce requires the consent of the husband, but commonly failing which in such circumstances the woman may seek a Sharia court judge (qadi), or (in non-Islamic countries) a recognized community panel, to grant the divorce. While similar to Judaic law, where the wife has the right to sue for divorce in a rabbinical court in the absence of a Get, but unlike Judaism where the husband has unilateral right to refuse, a Muslim woman may petition a qadi to grant her a divorce, overruling the husband's refusal, if his refusal is unreasonable and not in accordance with Islamic tenets. This authority of the qadi or panel is subject to certain criteria which differ amongst the jurisprudential schools (fiqh), and is subsequent to attempting reconciliation between the parties failing, or further arbitration to seek an amicable solution with voluntary proclamation of triple talaq by the husband has also failed. Ultimately the qadi has authority to grant the divorce subject to the wife and husband fulfilling certain requirements to reach an equitable solution.
Spousal support and mahr [edit]

Another general confusion among people is the idea that, in the case of divorce, the Mahr is the only thing the wife is entitled to. This is clearly not so when there are children involved as the husband has a duty to provide for their support and maintenance until they are weaned as stated in the Quran, but nowadays courts in many Muslim countries can extend this until the children finish their education. Modern movement is to seek financial support for the woman as well, if she is unable to maintain herself by working due to age, or commitments of child rearing, or disability. The wife is entitled to an equitable financial support from the husband determined by a judge in a court of law. Some Muslim feminist in Western countries have been inclined to argue from the verse “For divorced women a provision in kindness: a duty for those who ward off (evil)” Qu'ran [2:241], that this requires husbands to support the wife financially if, for example a wife spent years of her life supporting (financially and otherwise) a husband while he is studying and/or sponsoring his migration or citizenship, then a divorce takes place and the husband thinks that all that he owes her is the postponed Mahr[16]. It is however not the general Muslim interpretation of that verse, as the verse itself implies it is a duty to those who do not want to stray into sin by being mean or cruel, not a stated requirement.
The application of financial support from the man (when there are no children involved) is only when he has chosen unilaterally to divorce the wife by Talaq and not when wife wants a divorce by petitioning for Khula. In such situations the wife is required to forfeit all or part of the postponed Mahr and/or return the advanced Mahr as part of a divorce settlement. Husband may also demand return of other gifts and expenditure during the course of the marriage (apart from that he was obliged to provide such as food, clothing, shelter etc.), in order to release the woman from the marriage bond. If however the husband had been abusive or neglectful of his responsibilities, he does not have the right to take his wife’s property in exchange for her freedom from him, and courts will enforce the woman's right to keep her own property.[24]
Relationships which prohibit marriage [edit]

In certain sections of the pre-Islamic Arab tradition, the son could inherit his deceased father's other wives (i.e. not his own mother) as a wife. The Qur'an prohibited this practice.
Marriage between people related in some way is subject to prohibitions based on three kinds of relationship.[25] The following prohibitions are given from the male perspective for brevity; the analogous counterparts apply from the female perspective; e.g., for "aunt" read "uncle".


A bride signing the nikah nama (marriage certificate)
Prohibitions based on consanguinity [edit]

Seven relations are prohibited because of consanguinity i.e. kinship or relationship by blood, viz. mothers, daughters, sisters, paternal aunts, maternal aunts and nieces (whether sister's or brother's daughters). In this case, no distinction is made between full and half relations, both being equally prohibited. Distinction is however made with step relations i.e. where both the biological mother and father of a couple wishing to marry are separate individuals for both parties, in which case it is permitted. The word "mother" also connotes the "father’s mother" and "mother’s mother" all the way up. Likewise the word "daughter" also includes the "son’s daughter" and "daughter’s daughter" all the way down. The sister of the maternal grandfather and of the paternal grandmother (great aunts) are also included on equal basis in the application of the directive.[26]
Prohibitions based on suckling [edit]

Marriage to what are sometimes described as foster relations in English are permitted, although the concept is not the same as implied by the English word. The relationship is that formed by suckling from the breast of a wet nurse, this is what is meant by "fosterage" in Islam as in the quotation below. In this case the infant is regarded in Islam as having the same degree of affinity as in consanguinity and therefore prohibited in marriage when he grows up to those related to the wet nurse by the same degree as if to his own mother.
Hadith reports confirm that fosterage does not happen by a chance suckling, it refers to the first two years of a child's life before it is weaned[27][28][29][30] Islahi writes that "this relationship is established only with the full intent of those involved. It only comes into being after it is planned and is well thought of"[31]
Prohibitions based on marriage [edit]

The daughter-in-law is prohibited for the father, and the mother-in-law, the wife’s daughter, the wife’s sister and daughters of the wife's siblings (nieces), the maternal and paternal aunts of the wife are all prohibited for the husband. However, these are conditional prohibitions:
Only the daughter of that wife is prohibited with whom one has had conjugal contact.
Only the daughter-in-law of a real son is prohibited.
The sister of a wife, her maternal and paternal aunts and her brother's or sister's daughters (nieces) are only prohibited if the wife is in wedlock with the husband.[32]
Prohibited marriage partners[33] [edit]

His mother
His step-mother (this practice continues in Yoruba land in Nigeria, where in some cases the eldest son inherits the youngest wife of his father)
His grandmother (including father's and mother's mothers and all preceding mothers e.g. great grandmothers )
His daughter (including granddaughters and beyond )
His sister (whether full, consanguine or uterine)
His father's sisters (including paternal grandfather's sisters)
His mother's sisters (including maternal grandmother's sisters)
His brother's daughters
His foster mother
His foster mother's sister
His sister's daughter
His foster sister
His wife's mother
His step-daughter (i.e. a daughter by a former husband of a woman he has married if the marriage has been consummated. However, if such a marriage was not consummated, there is no prohibition)
His real son's wife
Another man
Polygyny [edit]

Polygamy (which includes both polygyny and polyandry) has existed all over the world as an aspect of culture and/or religion, including in the Hindu (although not allowed legally now hence not practiced anymore), Jewish and Christian. Similarly, Muslims can practice polygyny. According to the Qur'an, a man may have up to four wives at any one time; the restriction on the number was not customary before the advent of Islam in Arabia. There are two conditions to polygynous marriage in Islam: first, additional wives may only be taken when orphans and widows cannot be maintained by society as a whole and would better benefit from maintenance by a single man; second, the husband is required to treat all wives equally. If a man fears that he will not be able to meet these conditions then he is not allowed more than one wife.
"If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or that which your right hands possess. That will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice." (Qur'an 4:3) Yusuf Ali translation.
A bride-to-be may stipulate in the marriage contract her conditions such as monogamy. However, a woman may not have more than one husband, which is regarded as unacceptable because it could create difficulty in determination of paternity and hence responsibility of upbringing of children and inheritance. In addition, each husband would need to wait for his turn to have a child with his wife, as she cannot carry more than one man's baby at a single time. The Qur'an also recommends a woman nurses her child for two years before having another, thus adding to the wait time of each husband to have his own child.
The mothers shall give suck to their offspring for two whole years... (Quran 2:233) Yusuf Ali translation.
Tv shows [edit]

Qubool Hai
See also [edit]

Islam portal
Nikah mut‘ah (fixed-term marriage)
Mahr (marriage payment or '(donatio propter nuptias'- Latin)
Walima (marriage banquet offered by groom day after signing of nikah)
Talaq (unilateral divorce at behest of husband)
Khula (dissolution of marriage at behest of wife)
Nafaqah (financial obligations of the husband)
References [edit]

^ Sahih Bukhari & Sahih Muslim
^ Amin Ahsan Islahi, Tadabbur-i Qur’an, vol. 5, 400.
^ [Quran 24:32]
^ http://www.irfi.org/articles/articles_151_200/same_sex_marriage_and_marriage_i.htm
^ Introduction to Islam by Dr. Muhammed Hamidullah
^ [Quran 24:3]
^ Abu Da’ud, Sunan, vol. 2, 227, (nos. 2051-2052)
^ [Quran 2:221]
^ [Quran 60:10]
^ Al-Bukhari, Al-Jami‘ al-sahih, 1201, (no. 6968)
^ Muslim, Al-Jami' al-sahih, 596, (no. 3476)
^ Al-Bukhari, Al-Jami‘ al-sahih, 919, (no. 5138)
^ Toronto Globe and Mail: Honour killings ‘un-Islamic,' fatwa declares in wake of Shafia trial
^ [Quran 2:228]
^ Amin Ahsan Islahi, Tadabbur-i Qur’an, vol. 2, 291-292
^ a b http://mntarazi.blogspot.com/2011/06/understanding-mahr-dowry-in-ohio.html
^ http://www.stuff.co.nz/dominion-post/news/politics/7941539/MP-acts-against-forced-marriage
^ Kecia Ali, Marriage in Classical Islamic Jurisprudence: A Survey of Doctrines, in THE ISLAMIC MARRIAGE CONTRACT: CASE STUDIES IN ISLAMIC FAMILY LAW 11, 19 (Asifa Quraishi & Frank E. Vogel eds., 2008).
^ a b c d http://www.masjidtucson.org/submission/perspectives/more/family/marriage/dowry.html
^ PEARL & MENSKI, supra note 11, ¶ 7-16, at 180.
^ http://www.islamswomen.com/marriage/fiqh_of_marriage_6.php
^ The Islamic Institution of Mahr and American Law by, Richard Freeland, Gonzaga University, http://www.law.gonzaga.edu/academic-program/Files/GJIL/Volume4/Vol4-TheIslamicInstitution.pdf
^ Kecia Ali, Sexual Ethics & Islam, Oneworld Publications, Oxford: 2006. p.26
^ Indian Muslim Woman Divorce Act 1986
^ [Quran 4:22]
^ Ghamidi, Javed Ahmad. Mizan: A Comprehensive Introduction to Islam (in Urdu (tr: English)). Lahore: Al-Mawrid.
^ Muslim, Al-Jami‘ al-sahih, 616, (no. 3590)
^ Al-Bukhari, Al-Jami‘ al-sahih, 912, (no. 5102)
^ Muslim, Al-Jami‘ al-sahih, 619, (no. 3606)
^ "Every relationship which is prohibited (for marriage) owing to consanguinity is also prohibited owing to fosterage"Malik ibn Anas, Al-Mu’atta, 395-396, (no. 1887)
^ Amin Ahsan Islahi, Tadabbur-i Qur’an, vol. 2, 275.
^ Malik ibn Anas, Al-Mu’atta’, 341, (no. 1600)
^ http://nikah.com/marriage/prohibited_marriage_partners.asp


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In Islam, marriage is a contract (Standard Arabic: عقد القران; Egyptian Arabic: كتب الكتاب Katb el-Ketāb; Urdu: ‎ Nikahnama) between a man and woman to live as husband and wife. A formal, binding contract is considered integral to a religiously valid Islamic marriage, and outlines the rights and responsibilities of the groom and bride. The marriage must be declared publicly. Divorce is permitted and can be initiated by either party.
In addition to the usual marriage until death or divorce, there is a different fixed-term marriage known as Nikāḥ al-Mutʿah ("temporary marriage") permitted only by Twelvers (a branch of Shia Islam) for a pre-fixed period.
Contents  [show] 
History [edit]

Marriage was a Sunnah (custom) of earlier prophets which the Islamic Prophet Muhammad re-instituted and passed on to his ummah or community. An Arabic word for marriage is nikah (in Arabic: نكاح‎ nikāḥ), which is generally used to refer to Islamic marriages. Nikah as to the Arabic etymological origins of the phrase in Arabic: عقد القران‎, "Aqd Nikah", with Aqd in Arabic: عقد‎ translating to contract.
Islamic marriages require acceptance, in Arabic: قبول‎, qabuul, of the bride and groom of each other. The tribal and cultural practices of some Muslims of marrying their spouse, sight unseen, is permitted as is marriage by proxy but not a practice encouraged in Islam.
See also: Mahr
According to Islam, both men and woman have rights over each other when they enter into a marriage contract[14] with the husband serving as protector and supporter of the family most of the time, from his means [Quran 4:34]. This guardianship has two aspects for both partners:
This article improperly uses one or more religious texts as primary sources without referring to secondary sources that critically analyze them. Please help improve this article by adding references to reliable secondary sources, with multiple points of view. (March 2013)
This article improperly uses one or more religious texts as primary sources without referring to secondary sources that critically analyze them. Please help improve this article by adding references to reliable secondary sources, with multiple points of view. (March 2013)
Children in some Muslim sub-cultures who defy their parents' wishes may in practice, suffer penalties supported by the community but this is only due to the lack of knowledge of the Sunnah, as the Prophet would never agree to force a women to marry somebody she doesn't want. The family should try to find somebody that suits her better, as the following Hadith illustrates.
Mahr (donatio propter nuptias in Roman Law, Latin = gift because of marriage) is often mistranslated into English as dowry or gift, as in the Quran translations below, due to a translator's lack of understanding of the true nature of a dowry, and the nonobligatory nature of a gift. The mahr is not a gift, and is a mandatory requirement for all Muslim marriages whereby an amount of money or possessions is paid by the groom to the bride at the time of marriage for her exclusive use.[18] The mahr does not have to be money, but it must have monetary value. Therefore "it cannot be love, honesty, being faithful, etc., which are anyway traits of righteous people."[19] If the marriage contract fails to contain an exact, specified mahr, the husband must still pay the wife a judicially determined sum.[20]
Marriage in Islam is a contract with the standard elements of offer, acceptance and consideration, and not regarded as sacrosanct. It may be terminated by divorce on the grounds of abuse, infertility, lack of sexual fulfillment, lack of Nafaqah or financial support by the husband, adultery, dishonorable behavior, and irreconcilable differences. It is recommended in the Hadith that divorce should only be resorted to when there is no chance of reconciliation.
Divorce may be instituted unilaterally by the husband, the most common means being talaq (literally "divorce"). Talaq can be revocable or irrevocable. In a revocable divorce, a waiting period of three menstrual cycles begins, during which the husband may take back his wife.[23] There are many Hadiths requiring that talaq is not uttered sequentially three times but separated by a month between each utterance to provide opportunity for reconciliation. Majority of Islamic schools of jurisprudence (fiqh), do not regard a divorce as valid if this requirement is not followed, however others such as Hanafi discourage such practice but accept as binding if a triple talaq is said sequentially at one time.
Divorce at the behest of the wife is known as khula (Arabic: خلع‎, literally extraction), or release from the marriage or commencement of separation from her husband. Women are reminded that in case the husband is not fulfilling his responsibilities, there is no stigma on them in seeking khula (Qur'an 4:128). See Rights and obligations of spouses. Divorce requires the consent of the husband, but commonly failing which in such circumstances the woman may seek a Sharia court judge (qadi), or (in non-Islamic countries) a recognized community panel, to grant the divorce. While similar to Judaic law, where the wife has the right to sue for divorce in a rabbinical court in the absence of a Get, but unlike Judaism where the husband has unilateral right to refuse, a Muslim woman may petition a qadi to grant her a divorce, overruling the husband's refusal, if his refusal is unreasonable and not in accordance with Islamic tenets. This authority of the qadi or panel is subject to certain criteria which differ amongst the jurisprudential schools (fiqh), and is subsequent to attempting reconciliation between the parties failing, or further arbitration to seek an amicable solution with voluntary proclamation of triple talaq by the husband has also failed. Ultimately the qadi has authority to grant the divorce subject to the wife and husband fulfilling certain requirements to reach an equitable solution.
Another general confusion among people is the idea that, in the case of divorce, the Mahr is the only thing the wife is entitled to. This is clearly not so when there are children involved as the husband has a duty to provide for their support and maintenance until they are weaned as stated in the Quran, but nowadays courts in many Muslim countries can extend this until the children finish their education. Modern movement is to seek financial support for the woman as well, if she is unable to maintain herself by working due to age, or commitments of child rearing, or disability. The wife is entitled to an equitable financial support from the husband determined by a judge in a court of law. Some Muslim feminist in Western countries have been inclined to argue from the verse “For divorced women a provision in kindness: a duty for those who ward off (evil)” Qu'ran [2:241], that this requires husbands to support the wife financially if, for example a wife spent years of her life supporting (financially and otherwise) a husband while he is studying and/or sponsoring his migration or citizenship, then a divorce takes place and the husband thinks that all that he owes her is the postponed Mahr[16]. It is however not the general Muslim interpretation of that verse, as the verse itself implies it is a duty to those who do not want to stray into sin by being mean or cruel, not a stated requirement.
In certain sections of the pre-Islamic Arab tradition, the son could inherit his deceased father's other wives (i.e. not his own mother) as a wife. The Qur'an prohibited this practice.
A bride signing the nikah nama (marriage certificate)
A bride signing the nikah nama (marriage certificate)
Seven relations are prohibited because of consanguinity i.e. kinship or relationship by blood, viz. mothers, daughters, sisters, paternal aunts, maternal aunts and nieces (whether sister's or brother's daughters). In this case, no distinction is made between full and half relations, both being equally prohibited. Distinction is however made with step relations i.e. where both the biological mother and father of a couple wishing to marry are separate individuals for both parties, in which case it is permitted. The word "mother" also connotes the "father’s mother" and "mother’s mother" all the way up. Likewise the word "daughter" also includes the "son’s daughter" and "daughter’s daughter" all the way down. The sister of the maternal grandfather and of the paternal grandmother (great aunts) are also included on equal basis in the application of the directive.[26]
Marriage to what are sometimes described as foster relations in English are permitted, although the concept is not the same as implied by the English word. The relationship is that formed by suckling from the breast of a wet nurse, this is what is meant by "fosterage" in Islam as in the quotation below. In this case the infant is regarded in Islam as having the same degree of affinity as in consanguinity and therefore prohibited in marriage when he grows up to those related to the wet nurse by the same degree as if to his own mother.
The daughter-in-law is prohibited for the father, and the mother-in-law, the wife’s daughter, the wife’s sister and daughters of the wife's siblings (nieces), the maternal and paternal aunts of the wife are all prohibited for the husband. However, these are conditional prohibitions:
His mother
Polygamy (which includes both polygyny and polyandry) has existed all over the world as an aspect of culture and/or religion, including in the Hindu (although not allowed legally now hence not practiced anymore), Jewish and Christian. Similarly, Muslims can practice polygyny. According to the Qur'an, a man may have up to four wives at any one time; the restriction on the number was not customary before the advent of Islam in Arabia. There are two conditions to polygynous marriage in Islam: first, additional wives may only be taken when orphans and widows cannot be maintained by society as a whole and would better benefit from maintenance by a single man; second, the husband is required to treat all wives equally. If a man fears that he will not be able to meet these conditions then he is not allowed more than one wife.
Qubool Hai
Islam portal
^ Sahih Bukhari & Sahih Muslim

Background [edit]

If the conditions are met and a mahr and contract are agreed upon, an Islamic marriage ceremony Nikah, or wedding, can take place. Nowadays the marital contract is signed by both parties, whereas technically it only requires verbal agreement by both parties, the consent of the bride if she happens to be a virgin is given by silence, as per Hadith[1] the Islamic marriage is then declared publicly, in Arabic: إعلان‎, aa'laan, by a responsible person after delivering a sermon to counsel and guide the couple. It is not required, though customary, that the person marrying the couple should be religiously qualified. It is typically followed by a celebratory reception in line with the couple's or local customs, which could either last a couple of hours or proceed the wedding and conclude several days after the ceremony.
The Qur'an tells believers that even if they are poor they should marry to protect themselves from immorality[2][Quran 24:33]. The Quran asserts that marriage is the only legitimate way to satisfy one's sexual desire.[3] Islam recognizes the value of sex and companionship and advocates marriage as the foundation for families and channeling the fulfillment of a base need. Marriage is highly valued and regarded as being half of one's faith, according to a saying of Muhammad. Whether marriage is obligatory or merely allowed has been explored by several scholars, and agreed that "if a person has the means to marry and has no fear of mistreating their spouse or of committing the unlawful if he/she doesn't marry, then marriage in this case is preferred."[4]
Conditions [edit]

The Qur'an outlines some conditions for a marriage to take place [Quran 4:24]:
The marriage contract is concluded between the guardian (wali) of the bride and the bridegroom.
A nikah should be conducted through a contract and a mandatory sum of wealth provided to the bride, which here refers to the mahr. Once a mahr has been ascertained with the realization that it is an obligation of a Muslim husband, the groom is required to pay it to the bride at the time of marriage unless he and his bride can mutually agree to delay the time of some of its payment. In 2003, Rubya Mehdi published an article in which the culture of mahr among Muslims was thoroughly reviewed. There is no concept of dowry[5] as such in Islam, although mahr is often translated into English as dowry in the want of a more accurate word. A dowry as such is a payment to the groom from the bride's family, and is not an Islamic practice but borrowed from other religions into some Muslim cultures, notably in the Indian Subcontinent. Bride prices are also expressly prohibited.
Another requisite of marriage is chastity. No fornicator has the right to marry a chaste partner except if the two purify themselves of this sin by sincere repentance.[6][7]
Marriage is permitted for a man with a chaste woman either Muslim or from the People of the Book (ArabicL Ahl al Kitab, Jews, Sabians and Christians) but not to polytheists. For women, marriage to non-Muslim men is prohibited.[8][9]
The consent of the woman is only required, if she is not a virgin and her wali is neither her father nor her paternal grandfather. But a virgin may not be married off without her permission and if she is too shy to express her opinion her silence will be considered as implicit agreement [Al Bukhari:6455]. The wali who can force a bride against her outspoken will into marriage is called wali mujbir. If the woman was forced into a marriage, without the above mentioned conditions, the decision can be revoked.[10][11] Binti Khudham says that when she became a widow, her father solemnized her marriage. She did not like the decision so she went to Muhammad, who gave her permission to revoke her marriage.[12] Hence, forced marriages are against Islamic teachings.[13]
Despite this Islamic requirement of express consent, some Muslims force or pressure, especially amongst the uneducated, their children marry a partner approved of, and usually chosen by, the parents. See also: forced marriages
Rights and obligations of spouses [edit]

The husband is financially responsible for the welfare and maintenance of his wife and any children they produce, to include at a minimum, providing a home, food and clothing. In return, it is the duty of the wife to safeguard the husband's possessions and protect how wealth is spent. If the wife has wealth in her own capacity she is not obliged to spend it upon the husband or children, as she can own property and assets in her own right, so the husband has no right for her property and assets except by her will. A pre-marital agreement of the financial expectation from the husband is in the mahr, given by him to the wife for her exclusive use, which is included as part of his financial responsibility.
The husband provides physical and emotional strength, loyalty, sexual fidelity, and honour. In return, the wife is to guard the secrets of her husband, be honourable, loyal, and conjugally faithful.
Several commentators have stated that the superiority of a husband over his wife is relative, and the obedience of the wife is also restrictive.[15] The Quran advises men that if they are certain of a rebellious attitude by the woman, they should first admonish her, then refuse to share beds, and finally hit her (without leaving a mark and not on the face, as established by the Hadith). This refers to serious breaches of behaviour such as being promiscuous according to renowned 20th Century scholar Muhammad Hamidullah which is not expected from a dutiful wife, and not for simple disobedience to the husband. In explaining this, Ibn Abbas gives an example of striking with a toothstick (a very tiny piece of wood, incapable of creating any pain).
Women are also reminded that in case the husband is not fulfilling his responsibilities, there is no stigma on them in seeking divorce [Quran 4:128]. The Quran re-emphasizes that justice for the woman includes emotional support, and reminds men that there can be no taking back of the mahr or bridal gifts given to women. In unfortunate cases where the agreement was to postpone payment of the mahr, some husbands will bully their wives and insist on the return of what he gave her in order to agree to the dissolution of the marriage, this is un-Islamic and cruel. "Where the husband has been abusive or neglectful of his responsibilities, he does not have the right to take his wife’s property in exchange for her freedom from him. Unfortunately most couples refuse to go to the judge and binding arbitration for these issues even though the Quran says: “And if you fear a breach between them, then appoint an arbiter from his folk and an orbiter from her folk. If they (the arbiters) desire reconciliation, Allah will affect it between them. Surely, Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware.” [4:36][16]
Contrary to Islam, some Muslims restrict women's rights despite their Quranic rights. Women are often coerced, mistreated and suffer penalties supported by the community when they do not comply with their families' expectations or local cultural norms. See also: forced marriages
Marriage contracts and forced/un-consented marriages [edit]

The marriage contract is concluded between the wali, or guardian, of the bride and bridegroom, not between bridegroom and bride. The wali of the bride can only be a free Muslim. The wali of the bride is normally a male relative of the bride, preferably her father. If the bride is a virgin, the wali cannot force the bride into the marriage against her will if she is old enough to decide for herself. Walis other than the father or the paternal grandfather of the bride need the consent of the bride as well. If the bride is a virgin, silent consent is sufficient. No one can compel an adult virgin in marriage. Abu Hurayrah reported that the Prophet said: "A non-virgin woman may not be married without her command, and a virgin may not be married without her permission; and it is permission enough for her is to remain silent (because of her natural shyness)." [Al-Bukhari:6455, Muslim & Others][full citation needed].
Thus, the Prophet prohibited forcing a virgin in marriage without her permission, whether by her father or anyone else. It is reported in a hadith that A'ishah related that she once asked the Prophet : "In the case of a young girl whose parents marry her off, should her permission be sought or not?" He replied: "Yes, she must give her permission." She then said: "But a virgin would be shy, O Messenger of Allaah!" He replied: "Her silence is [considered as] her permission." [Al-Bukhari, Muslim, & Others][full citation needed]
As for compelling her to marry against her will, this would contradict Islamic Law. Allah did not permit a Wali to force her to sell or render her property without her permission.
Source: 'Al-Masaa’il Al-Maardeeniyyah' by: Imaam Ibn Taymiyyah[full citation needed]
Forced marriages and international human rights responses [edit]

It was narrated that Buraydah ibn al-Haseeb said: A girl came to the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and said: My father married me to his brother’s son so that he might raise his own status thereby. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) gave her the choice (i.e. to end the marriage) but she said: "I approve of what my father did, but I wanted women to know that their fathers have no right to do that". Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 1874. It was classed as saheeh by al-Buwaysiri in Masaabeeh az-Zujaajah, 2/102. Similarly Shaykh Muqbil al-Waadi‘i stated: (It is) saheeh according to the conditions of Muslim. End quote from as-Saheeh al-Musnad, p. 160 
International awareness, campaigns and organizations such as the U.K.'s Forced Marriage Unit have recognized the severity of this human rights issue and their rescue and support services extend beyond the borders of U.K. territories. Some countries have instituted prison time for parents who try to coerce their children into such unions.[17]
Mahr, dowry and gifts [edit]

Mahr is mentioned several times in the Quran and Hadith, and there is no maximum limit to the amount the groom may pay as mahr,[21] but at a minimum it is an amount that would be sufficient for the woman to be able to survive independently if her husband dies or they divorce.
The term dowry (Latin, dos dotis) is inaccurate as strictly speaking it is the money, goods, or estate that a woman brings forth to the marriage, usually provided by her parents or family. In Islam, bride prices and dowries are forbidden. Any assets brought into the union by the wife may only be accepted by the husband after the mahr has been paid by him to her.
With prior mutual agreement, the mahr may also be paid in parts to the bride with an amount given by the groom to the bride at the signing of the marriage contract, also called a mu'qadamm (in Arabic: ‎; مقدم, literally translated as forepart presented), and the later portion postponed to a date during the marriage, also called a mu'akhaar ( in Arabic: ‎ مؤخر, literally translated as delayed). Various Romanized transliterations of mu'qadamm and mu'akhaar are accepted. Such an agreement does not make the full amount of the mahr any less legally required, nor is the husband's obligation to fulfill the agreement waived or lessened while he fulfills his obligations to reasonably house, feed, or cloth the wife (and any children produced from the union) during the marriage.[22]
Quran [4:4] You shall give the women their due dowries, equitably.[19]
Quran [5:5] Today, all good food is made lawful for you. The food of the people of the scripture is lawful for you. Also, you may marry the chaste women among the believers, as well as the chaste women among the followers of previous scripture, provided you pay them their due dowries. You shall maintain chastity, not committing adultery, nor taking secret lovers. Anyone who rejects faith, all his work will be in vain, and in the Hereafter he will be with the losers[19]
Quran [60:10] O you who believe, when believing women (abandon the enemy and) ask for asylum with you, you shall test them. GOD is fully aware of their belief. Once you establish that they are believers, you shall not return them to the disbelievers. They are not lawful to remain married to them, nor shall the disbelievers be allowed to marry them. Give back the dowries that the disbelievers have paid. You commit no error by marrying them, so long as you pay them their due dowries. Do not keep disbelieving wives (if they wish to join the enemy). You may ask them for the dowry you had paid, and they may ask for what they paid. This is GOD's rule; He rules among you. GOD is Omniscient, Most Wise.[19]
Divorce [edit]

Talaq [edit]

Khula [edit]

Spousal support and mahr [edit]

The application of financial support from the man (when there are no children involved) is only when he has chosen unilaterally to divorce the wife by Talaq and not when wife wants a divorce by petitioning for Khula. In such situations the wife is required to forfeit all or part of the postponed Mahr and/or return the advanced Mahr as part of a divorce settlement. Husband may also demand return of other gifts and expenditure during the course of the marriage (apart from that he was obliged to provide such as food, clothing, shelter etc.), in order to release the woman from the marriage bond. If however the husband had been abusive or neglectful of his responsibilities, he does not have the right to take his wife’s property in exchange for her freedom from him, and courts will enforce the woman's right to keep her own property.[24]
Relationships which prohibit marriage [edit]

Marriage between people related in some way is subject to prohibitions based on three kinds of relationship.[25] The following prohibitions are given from the male perspective for brevity; the analogous counterparts apply from the female perspective; e.g., for "aunt" read "uncle".

Prohibitions based on consanguinity [edit]

Prohibitions based on suckling [edit]

Hadith reports confirm that fosterage does not happen by a chance suckling, it refers to the first two years of a child's life before it is weaned[27][28][29][30] Islahi writes that "this relationship is established only with the full intent of those involved. It only comes into being after it is planned and is well thought of"[31]
Prohibitions based on marriage [edit]

Only the daughter of that wife is prohibited with whom one has had conjugal contact.
Only the daughter-in-law of a real son is prohibited.
The sister of a wife, her maternal and paternal aunts and her brother's or sister's daughters (nieces) are only prohibited if the wife is in wedlock with the husband.[32]
Prohibited marriage partners[33] [edit]

His step-mother (this practice continues in Yoruba land in Nigeria, where in some cases the eldest son inherits the youngest wife of his father)
His grandmother (including father's and mother's mothers and all preceding mothers e.g. great grandmothers )
His daughter (including granddaughters and beyond )
His sister (whether full, consanguine or uterine)
His father's sisters (including paternal grandfather's sisters)
His mother's sisters (including maternal grandmother's sisters)
His brother's daughters
His foster mother
His foster mother's sister
His sister's daughter
His foster sister
His wife's mother
His step-daughter (i.e. a daughter by a former husband of a woman he has married if the marriage has been consummated. However, if such a marriage was not consummated, there is no prohibition)
His real son's wife
Another man
Polygyny [edit]

"If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or that which your right hands possess. That will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice." (Qur'an 4:3) Yusuf Ali translation.
A bride-to-be may stipulate in the marriage contract her conditions such as monogamy. However, a woman may not have more than one husband, which is regarded as unacceptable because it could create difficulty in determination of paternity and hence responsibility of upbringing of children and inheritance. In addition, each husband would need to wait for his turn to have a child with his wife, as she cannot carry more than one man's baby at a single time. The Qur'an also recommends a woman nurses her child for two years before having another, thus adding to the wait time of each husband to have his own child.
The mothers shall give suck to their offspring for two whole years... (Quran 2:233) Yusuf Ali translation.
Tv shows [edit]

See also [edit]

Nikah mut‘ah (fixed-term marriage)
Mahr (marriage payment or '(donatio propter nuptias'- Latin)
Walima (marriage banquet offered by groom day after signing of nikah)
Talaq (unilateral divorce at behest of husband)
Khula (dissolution of marriage at behest of wife)
Nafaqah (financial obligations of the husband)
References [edit]

^ Amin Ahsan Islahi, Tadabbur-i Qur’an, vol. 5, 400.
^ [Quran 24:32]
^ http://www.irfi.org/articles/articles_151_200/same_sex_marriage_and_marriage_i.htm
^ Introduction to Islam by Dr. Muhammed Hamidullah
^ [Quran 24:3]
^ Abu Da’ud, Sunan, vol. 2, 227, (nos. 2051-2052)
^ [Quran 2:221]
^ [Quran 60:10]
^ Al-Bukhari, Al-Jami‘ al-sahih, 1201, (no. 6968)
^ Muslim, Al-Jami' al-sahih, 596, (no. 3476)
^ Al-Bukhari, Al-Jami‘ al-sahih, 919, (no. 5138)
^ Toronto Globe and Mail: Honour killings ‘un-Islamic,' fatwa declares in wake of Shafia trial
^ [Quran 2:228]
^ Amin Ahsan Islahi, Tadabbur-i Qur’an, vol. 2, 291-292
^ a b http://mntarazi.blogspot.com/2011/06/understanding-mahr-dowry-in-ohio.html
^ http://www.stuff.co.nz/dominion-post/news/politics/7941539/MP-acts-against-forced-marriage
^ Kecia Ali, Marriage in Classical Islamic Jurisprudence: A Survey of Doctrines, in THE ISLAMIC MARRIAGE CONTRACT: CASE STUDIES IN ISLAMIC FAMILY LAW 11, 19 (Asifa Quraishi & Frank E. Vogel eds., 2008).
^ a b c d http://www.masjidtucson.org/submission/perspectives/more/family/marriage/dowry.html
^ PEARL & MENSKI, supra note 11, ¶ 7-16, at 180.
^ http://www.islamswomen.com/marriage/fiqh_of_marriage_6.php
^ The Islamic Institution of Mahr and American Law by, Richard Freeland, Gonzaga University, http://www.law.gonzaga.edu/academic-program/Files/GJIL/Volume4/Vol4-TheIslamicInstitution.pdf
^ Kecia Ali, Sexual Ethics & Islam, Oneworld Publications, Oxford: 2006. p.26
^ Indian Muslim Woman Divorce Act 1986
^ [Quran 4:22]
^ Ghamidi, Javed Ahmad. Mizan: A Comprehensive Introduction to Islam (in Urdu (tr: English)). Lahore: Al-Mawrid.
^ Muslim, Al-Jami‘ al-sahih, 616, (no. 3590)
^ Al-Bukhari, Al-Jami‘ al-sahih, 912, (no. 5102)
^ Muslim, Al-Jami‘ al-sahih, 619, (no. 3606)
^ "Every relationship which is prohibited (for marriage) owing to consanguinity is also prohibited owing to fosterage"Malik ibn Anas, Al-Mu’atta, 395-396, (no. 1887)
^ Amin Ahsan Islahi, Tadabbur-i Qur’an, vol. 2, 275.
^ Malik ibn Anas, Al-Mu’atta’, 341, (no. 1600)
^ http://nikah.com/marriage/prohibited_marriage_partners.asp


 


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9 comments:

  1. Importance of Mehndi in Indian Weddings...

    Indian marriages are known for their many rituals. In fact, the beauty of Indian weddings comes forth in the numerous traditions that are associated with the special celebration. Marriages being the most important day in one's life, mehndi has become an ornament for the soon to be brides. Infact one whole ceremony dedicated to its celebration popularly known as "Mehndi Ki Raat".Indian marriages are incomplete without dance, music and lots of laughter.

    It is a common belief that the darker the color the mehndi leaves on the hands on a bride, the more will she be loved by her husband and mother-in-law. However, the significance of applying mehndi during weddings is not restricted just to sentiments and beliefs. Although these beliefs make the application of mehndi a much anticipated and charming tradition, the actual reason is of much deeper significance.

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  2. Once the prospective bride and groom is selected by the families and their kundlis matched to make sure that they have a happy married life , the big Indian wedding starts unfurling with its numerous unique culture. Marriage will happen to everyone sooner or later. May be you are busy pubbing and clubbing today but for a happy and secure tomorrow marriage is the only way out. Indian Marriages are not only about the couple, they involve the whole family. The Mehndi night is a festive night in the girl's family where professional Mehndi artists draw intricate designs in henna on the hands of the bride and other female members. During the Sangeet, professional entertainers are brought to regale the guests.

    The individuals not only marry each other but tie an everlasting bond with each other's family. The Shagun is exchanged by the prospective families which consist of numerous gifts to the soon to be the wed couples. The wedding rituals start with the Haldi ceremony that is done to purify and ready the bride and groom for their union. Haldi and oil is poured over their body and hair by the family members after which they are forbidden to leave their house.

    When any one's marriage is settled, an auspicious day is fixed for the wedding. On the appointed day the bridegroom is taken in a grand procession to the bride's house. He is generally clad in white silk with saffron spots on it. He wears a crown of flowers on his head. He is seated on a fine mare and is joined by a large number of men carrying different sorts of articles of pomp and grandeur. He is accompanied by his relatives and friends who are attired in their best clothes. The children wear very gaudy dresses. The procession is generally led by a band. At intervals fire-works are let off.

    When the matrimony procession reaches the bride's house, shouts of welcome in different forms rend the air. The Swaagat is the ritual to welcome the groom and his entourage by the bride's family. The kith and kin of the bride come out to receive the bride-groom and his party and conduct them to a hall richly decorated and illuminated for the occasion. The bride watches the arrival from one window of the house, careful not to gaze upon his face and then comes out to welcome him. The guests and visitors take their seats in the same hall where they are served with tea and sweets. Some who are accustomed to smoke are offered hookas. Afterwards they are led to the dining hall where sweets, pudding, puries and other dainties are lavishly served to them.

    During Vidai, the bride's brother is entrusted with couple's care. The Baraat leaves for the groom’s house are announced with drum beats and is welcomed by the women of the family. The wedding reception is the party thrown by the groom's family to announce the wedding and this usually takes place a day after the wedding.

    Marriage involves all-the families! And the best of all, it Creates Generations! So think guys and hail this medium of happily remaining in a long term relationship.



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  3. Sindhi Wedding

    The Sindhi wedding is presided over by a special priest known as "Mehraj", specialising in matchmaking and a Guryanni , who presents the horoscopes of eligible boys and girls to those for a match.

    Pre Wedding Rituals

    Once the prospective bride and groom is selected by the families and their kundlis match to make sure that they have a happy married life, the big Sindhi wedding starts unfurling with its numerous unique rituals.

    Janya or the sacred thread ceremony starts with the groom donning the sacred yellow thread while the Mehraj whispers Guru Mantra in his ears. Though this ceremony ritualistically should be performed during adolescence , most Sindhi's now prefer to do this day or two considered incomplete. After this comes the two step engagement ritual called Kachchi Misri and Pakki Misri.

    Kachchi Mishri

    Kachchi Misri is the informal engagement between the bride and the groom , where they are given coconuts and misri that signifies their acceptance into each other's families. The shagun is exchanged by the prospective families which usually consist of numerous gifts (Shagun) to the soon wed couples. Additionally the bride family sends 5kg of sweets, five coconuts , a basket of fruit and a small token amount of money to the boy's family. The groom's sister covers the bride's head with a red duppata and feeds her suji sheera , followed by the other relatives.

    Pakki Mishri

    Pakki Mishri is the formal engagement ceremony where the rings are exchanged in the presence of the priest , either in a temple or at home. The groom's family gifts the bride , clothes, cosmetics and jewellery , with which she is then adorned by the groom's sister and sisters-in-law. Similarly the bride's family gifts a clay pot of misri. This is followed by a Varmala ritual where the bride and groom exchange garlands while the families finalise the verbal promise of their marriage or shaadi.

    The engagement is followed by Berena, performed ten days before the marriage, where is satsang is dedicated to Jhulelal, Sindhi God. Dev Bithani refers to the installation of chakki (stome grinder) in the homes of both the bride and the groom, while a Brahmin priest performs the ritual. After this ceremony, the couple is not encouraged to leave their homes and Ainars (marriage guards ) are appointed for them. During Lada , the groom's family invites the women in their neighbourhood for a musical night where they all sing traditional songs accompanied by dholak beats.


    Tags: Shaadi | Matrimony | Marriage | Match making | Indian Marriages | Matrimonial | Free Marriage Sites | Indian Matrimonial Services | Indian Matrimonial Sites | Free Matrimonial | Indian Matrimonials | Sathi

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  4. An ode to the wedding songs in Punjabi Wedding

    Punjab is the state of festiveness. It is said that punjabis can groove to the beats of dhol even if there is no occasion. As such, when there is a shaadi in the house, it given them a reason to sing and dance. In Punjab, there are different genres of songs when it comes to marriage songs. There are categories divided on the basis of moods and situations.Some of the most popular categories include:

    Gharouli de Geet: These are happy songs that are sung when the pitcher is filled for bride/bridegroom's bath on the day of the wedding.

    Sehra: As the Hindu priest ties the sehra (flower veil) on the forehead of the groom while chanting sacred mantras, the close family members sing sehra songs to pep up the environment.

    Suhag: A fairly popular category of wedding songs, the suhag songs are sung by the bride herself as she praises her of her life. Some of these wedding songs also reveal her anticipation of the approaching life in her husband's home. In some households, bride friends and cousins also sing these songs on her behalf.

    Jaggo: Jaggo songs are sung a night prior to the wedding. These songs are sung as a celebrative way to invite the neighbours to the wedding.

    South Indian Melodies

    Laali: These are songs of praise for the bride and the groom who are seated on a swing in a
    ceremonial manner and are rocked back and forth. The back and fro motion of the swing in the ritual signifies the waves in the sea of life while the chains represent the eternal karmic link with god. Their movement on the swing depicts that the couple is together in body and mind that they would together cross the ocean of life.

    Nalangu: During this ritual, the new bride sings and calls her husband to spend time with her. These songs fill the atmosphere with a sense of merriment. The time signifies the breaking of ice between the bride and the groom as there are several other playful activities that take place, subsequently. While family members break papads on the couple's heads toward off evil, the bride anoints husband's body with sandalwood and sings to him. The female relatives poke fun at the couple and the in-laws while singing songs.

    Adding a Zing of Culture

    A part from the pre-wedding ceremonies that are replete with the sounds of traditional wedding tunes and lyrics, these days marriages are also witnessing a sort of rebound that seem incomplete without these rhythms and libretto. Live performances usually have the popular singers belting out hit numbers some originals, some legendary wedding songs that set the mood for the evening and get the guests tapping to these numbers. Traditional wedding songs are those symphonies that have bouts of emotions hidden behind, that bring people together to celebrate and have fun and that which any Indian marriage is not complete without.

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  5. A Complete guide for your auspicious occasion of marriage

    Congratulations !

    You are about to start a new life.. one filled with the promise of happiness and dreams coming true..
    Your wedding is meant to be a momentous affair, but one that will demand a lot of planning and decision making. This wedding planner is specifically designed to provide an organised approach towards making your wedding a runaway success. By following this guide, step by step, and all your plans, we hope will run to perfection.

    Setting the Wedding Date
    The date is usually based on the auspicious time given by the family pandit, but it is thoughtful to make sure that it does not clash with any other event in the family, and is convenient for people to attend.

    Engagement
    This is the first of the formal ceremonies. Traditionally , rings and gifts are exchanged between the bride and the groom's families. Ascertain ring sizes and buy the engagement rings well in advance, so that the couple can try them out before the ceremony.

    Invitation Cards
    Invitation cards are now available in individualistic and unique designs.
    *Place an order for invitations with a printer well in advance. A few extras will come handy.
    *Also order for informal cards for writing "thank you" notes.
    *It is in good order to place a small map of the venue on the invitation card.
    *Start mailing the invites two months in advance for outstation guests.
    *It is nice gesture to send invites to even those family members and friends who you know will not be able to attend the ceremony.

    Legal Formalities
    *Register at the matrimony sites.
    *Inform change in address to the postal department and to all the relatives and friends.
    *Apply for change of maiden name in important documents, ration card, etc.

    Check List
    Maintain a time Schedule.

    Once the shaadi Date is decided.
    * Plan your budget.
    *Visualise your wedding theme.
    *Choose the venue.
    *Start interviewing service providers.
    *Start your trousseau and jewellery shopping.
    *Decide on your honeymoon destination.
    *Draw the guest list.
    *Buy a wedding planner and maintain records.

    At 6 Months to the Wedding...
    *Order the invites and stationery.
    *Book the pandit, beautician , car hire agency.
    *If travelling abroad for your honeymoon, check your visas, passports and medical clearance.
    *Reserve your wedding night bridal chamber.
    *Make hotel bookings for out-of-town guests.
    *Start a beauty regime.

    At 2 Months to the Wedding...
    *Do an RSVP with guests and draw up a final guest list.
    *Confirm all reservations.
    *Choose gifts for relatives and friends.
    *Do a hair and make-up run through.
    *Make a list of photographs you wish to be taken.
    *Make a list of the music you wish to be played.

    At 2 Weeek to the marriage...
    *Do a final confirmation of all the reservations and service providers.
    * Confirm the transportation schdule.
    * Give the caterer the final guest count.
    *Make sure all attentdants have a copy of the wedding day schedule.
    *Do a final dress fitting with shoes, jewellery and make-up.
    *Pack for your honeymoon.
    Its a once-in-lifetime moment. Surely make it your the best.

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  6. Vivaah Wedding Decor Stylist

    A wedding Planning Bussiness, Vivaah explores All the element that make weddings so special different. By tracing the romentic history of weddings from colonial times to the present suggesting ways to create a signature Wedding.

    Cater to All function in the wedding such as:
    *The Engagement
    *The mehendi
    *The Ceremony
    *The sangeet
    *The Reception

    Engagement
    This is the first of the formal ceremonies. Traditionally , rings and gifts are exchanged between the bride and the groom's families. Ascertain ring sizes and buy the engagement rings well in advance, so that the couple can try them out before the ceremony.

    Mahendi
    Indian marriages are known for their many rituals. In fact, the beauty of Indian weddings comes forth in the numerous traditions that are associated with the special celebration. Marriage day being the most important day in one's life. Infact one whole ceremony dedicated to its celebration popularly known as "Mehndi Ki Raat". Indian marriages are incomplete without dance, music and lots of laughter.
    Destination Weddings

    Ceremony

    The Baraat is also a wonderful part of the indian marriage. The groom with the sehra tied to hide his face sits on the horse, while his mother holds a lamp lit for the household deity. It is merry ritual when they set forth for the marriage venue along with a band of musicians playing popular tracks, with his relatives groove their way to the wedding. The Swaagat is the ritual to welcome the groom and his entourage by the bride's family. The bride watches the arrival from one window of the house , careful not to gaze upon his face and then comes out to welcome him. At the entrance the groom places his right foot on top of the bride's foot to denote his dominating strength in their future life together. In the Sindhi tradition the groom is seen as the embodiment of lord Vishnu on the wedding day. The couple is seated with a screen separating them so that they cannot see each other while his feet are washed in a bronze thaali with raw milk by the bride's brother and is known as Paon Dhulai. The couple now gets ready for the wedding ceremony and is taken to the wedding platform where the ceremony is to take place.

    Sangeet
    Decide whether it will be a small family gathering or a big event with a professional band in attendance.
    *Book a Mehndiwali well in advance. She/he should bring the necessary material.
    *List the songs and hand out the lyrics to all or you can use taped music as a back-up.
    *Hold practice sessions prior to the wedding, if you are so inclined.
    *Arrange for snacks or a caterer if the gathering is large.

    Reception
    Decide whether it will be sit-down affair or a buffet.
    *Make the arrangements in advance and confirm with the venue manager/caterer in writing.
    *Specify the number of guests expected to the caterer if you do not want to pay for extra food.
    *Confirm arrangements a day before the event.
    *Set up a gift table and assign a family member to receive gifts. Maintain a list of the gifts.
    *Allocate space for alive band, bar and dining.
    *After the reception, move flower bouquets and leftover liquor to the couple's residence.

    While a destination wedding is a unique alternative to the traditional wedding, it is only successful when planned by an expert. Destination weddings require considerable planning and research, so couples should look for someone they know they can trust..

    the main concept of vow's is to create an Exclusive One Stop Shop for all your wedding needs, right from the invitation card to the Honeymoon Plan.
    it will be the first and final destination for brides and bride grooms seeking exquisite resources.

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  7. Your Wedding Handbook

    Get Organised

    Plan your leave from work

    Apply for leave work as much in advance as possible. Complete all pending tasks
    and divide the workload between cooperative co - worker. “This way you can get up
    to speed real quick when you return from your blessed – out honeymoon”

    Delegate small wedding day tasks

    Delegate duties in advance – get a couple of close friends to be by your side during
    the ceremony to calm your nerves and handle the gifts, some relatives (in rotation)
    to greet guests at the entrance, someone with a list of all vendor contact
    information.

    Have a chat with your photographer

    Decide the theme you want for the marriage pictures and give the photographer a
    list of moments you want captured.

    Pack your accessories and wedding night bag

    Pack a bag with all the accessories you’ll require to get dressed on the wedding
    day. This includes jewellery, makeup, hairpins, safety pins, undergarments. Leave
    this bag next to your wedding dress along with your bag of “just – in – case” items.
    Also, pack a small bag to carry with you to the hotel for the wedding night. This bag
    should have everything you’ll need. Besides lingerie, make sure to pack a change of
    clothes for the next morning, your cosmetics pouch and a midnight snack (since no
    one seems to eat at their own wedding!)

    Gather Memories

    Make a DVD of the days leading up to the wedding

    “What I’m sure I’ll continue to find truly endearing and entertaining in the years to
    come is the DVD of my wedding preparation – from the sangeet practices to the
    makeup trails to some heartfelt moments with my family”
    Maybe you can include messages from your close friends and family as well.

    Write out ‘Thank you’ notes

    A lot of people have worked tirelessly, spent lots of money and treated you like a
    princess in the weeks leading up to your big day. Make some time to write
    personalized cards for all of them and give it to each one before the wedding
    ceremonies begin.

    Look And Feel Your Best

    Oodles of pampering

    This is perhaps one of the most essential and enjoyable parts of your pre – wedding
    routine. Book appointments at least 10 days in advance for your pre – wedding
    beauty regimen, preferably at a spa you frequent. Make sure to include a stress –
    relieving massage to soothe those nerves.

    Get lots of sleep the night before

    “No matter what beauty regiment you go through in the days before your wedding,
    unless you’re well rested on the night before the big day, you will neither look nor
    feel your best,”. “The last thing you need is a headache putting a
    damper on your mood.” So the evening before your wedding should be a quite one –
    spend quality time with your family, eat a healthy meal and get at least eight hour
    of sound sleep. Eat something and use the washroom before the ceremony. You
    have got a long day ahead of you. Grab a healthy snack before you put on your
    makeup and use the washroom right before you head out to the mandap”

    Focus on your husband – to – be

    If, in spite of your best efforts, things get too chaotic, try this trick : “Every bride will have a moment of nerves, no matter how perfect
    everything around her is. It’s human nature. When this happened turned complete focus on my handsome fiancé and on the beautiful life we were about to
    embark upon together. My mind instantly quietened down and I had a lovely smile
    on my face that made me look even more fabulous in the pictures”. Maybe
    you could even give his friend a note to slip to your fiancé right before the
    ceremony. This could pep things up a bit for the two of you and help ease the stress
    too!

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  8. Great expectations

    Life is full of surprises, particularly if you are a newly - wed . Expressjodi you a glimpse into the future and tells how to be prepared to face married life

    Love is all about romance whereas marriage is a lot about responsibility. When two different individuals from different backgrounds live together, differences of opinion on things like spending habits, career, having and raising a baby, sharing household responsibilities etc, are bound to crop up, the key is to broaden your outlook and accept all the changes that marriage brings, and to remember that marriage is a momentous change for you and your spouse. And, fear not, over a period of time, you will find a way to make it work.

    Responsibility

    With marriage comes a whole lot of responsibility. "From the time you ger married, the decisions you make will not be yours alone, but your partner's as well. This is because your choices will impact both of you. But this doesn't mean that you're tied to a ball and chain. "It only means you have a companion with you for life. In fact, in your capacity as a spouse, you become your partner's caretaker, friend, confidante and even punching bag etc.

    Finances

    Arguments over money are bound to happen, so be prepared for it. And unless you establish some ground rules for dealing with financial issues, you will continue to have these arguments. Bear in mind that you are now a part of a unit, and no longer flying solo.

    In - laws or outlaws?

    if you thought that marriage is all about sharing your life with your significant other, think again, and this time, factor in your in - laws into the equation. When you're used to a particular lifestyle, moving in with your in - laws can be a rude shock. You will be required to make changes in your daily routine. Like waking up a little earlier to help around the house or rescheduling your plans on weekends or even modifying some of your eating habits. these might seem like an additional burden, particularly if you are a working woman. Remember to keep an open mind when it comes to handling your in - laws. They may be rigid in their ways, but there is always a way to work out a compromise.

    Sharing space

    Marriage involves sharing everything - whether it is sadness or glad tidings, chores or finance, which can be a difficult task. This is why marriage necessitates an equal contribution from both side. " Sharing is absolutely essential for a happy marriage,. Besides making it easier to run the show, it also brings you closer to your partner, and cement a bond in a way that only experience can.
    Differnces of opinion

    Shaadi brings two different individuals together, as well as two sets of arguments for everything. Remember that your husband is as new to the marriage and the relationship as you, and he is facing the same issue for the first time as well.Irrespective of the nature of the relationship, any two people are bound to have differences of opinion at some point of time, It is how you handle these differences that mtters. The best antidote for deviant interest lies in adapting to the situation. "Be carteful not to retaliate for the sake of it,"

    Planning for the future

    As a single independent working woman, you may be used to your lifestyle, going on holidays or splurging on the latest pair of Jimmy Choos. But married life is a journey and you need to plan carefully to get to your destination. "Planning is the key. Make sure you and your husband are on the same page as far as long - term goal are concerned," "Whether or not you plan to have a baby or deciding on investments for the future and are thing that you should discuss in advbance, if you want to avoid unpleasant surprises in you married life,"

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  9. Brahmin Shaadi
    Historically, the Brahmins in india were divided into two major groups based on geographical origin of the people. The Brahmin groups that lived to the north of the vindhyas were referred to as Dravida Brahmins. Each group was further divided into five sections according to the regions of their settlement.

    Sagaai
    The Sagaai or the engagement ceremony symbolises commitment However, the South Indian Brahmin do not lay stress on the presence of bride and the groom in their Sagaai, rather it focuses on commitment between the parents of the groom and the bride. 'Latto' i.e., 'engagement plate' Which consist of coconut, flowers, turmeric, betel leaves and betel nuts hold more importance, in their engagement ceremony. The Maithil Brahmin bride of bihar makes her wedding affair stand apart by receiving the blessing from the Dhobi's (washerman's) wife - a compulsory tradition in the Bihari Brahmin wedding.

    Haldi
    In Haldi ceremony turmeric powder is mixed with milk, almond oil and sandalwood and applied to the bride and the groom. In Kashmiri Pandit this ceremony has a twist becuase cold, white yoghurt is poured on the bride as an alternative to haldi. ritual is followed by a special custom called Shankha (shell) Paula (coral) in bengali Brahmins, where seven married women embellish the bride's hand with red and white bangles, the shell is supposed to calm the bride and the coral is believed to
    be beneficial for health. Mehndi is also applied on every bride's hands during the Mehndi ceremony. However, a Bengali Brahmin bride applies alta (red dye).

    Jaimala
    After the ceremonious arrival of the groom, the garlands are exchanged between the groom and the bride, while the priests chant mantras. Jaimala is the symbol of unifying two souls into one. But in tamil nadu, "Oonjal", a unique jaimala ceremony is performed and could be best decribed as a tug of war. In this ceremony, the women sing songs to encourage the bride and groom to exchange the garlands while the uncles persuade the soon to be couple not to Exchange the garlands.Before the ceremony of jaimala, the bride makes a majestic entry in Bengali weddings.

    Mangal Phere
    Fire is considered the most pious element in the Brahmin weddings and seven circles around that fire holds the seven promises that the nuptial couple make to each other amidst the Vedic mantras. The Brahmin wedding is deemed incomplete without the seven rounds around the sacred fire. Unlike other Brahmin weddings, in Gujarati weddings only four pheras are taken which are called the mangalpheras where the pheras represent four basic human goals of Dharma, Artha, Kama, and Miksha (religious, moral, prosperity and salvation). Likewise in Malayalee Brahmin weddings, pheras are taken only thrice.

    Post wedding ceremony vidaai
    After pheras, the bride's family and friend bid her teary vidaai (farewell). The Kashmiri pundits make their vidaai even more special. their charming ritual, "roth khabar" is performed on a saturday or tuesday after the wedding. In Roth
    khabar, the bride's parents send a roth (bread decorated with nuts) to their son - in - law's family. But the bride accompanies She stay with her parents and returns only when someone from in laws comes to fetch her back.

    Griha pravesh
    The new bride is greeted by her mother - in - law with Arti and tilak. The bride, who is regarded as the Goddess laxmi, enters the groom's house after the groom's house after kicking rice - filled pot. In Kannada Brahmin marriages, the groom changes the name of his wife in the name change ceremony where he decides a name for his wife and inscribes it on a plate containing rice with a ring. In Bihar, a very strange ritual is performs at the groom's place.

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